A frequent question at our sexual health clinic is “How much sex should we have?”
This question doesn’t have a straight cut answer! Some research conducted in Great Britain and the USA showed that couples that have sexual intercourse at least once a week are happier than couples that do not.
On average people in their 20s-30s have sexual intercourse 2-3 times a week and that usually decreases to around once a week for couples above 50.
The ideal amount of sex if seeking pregnancy
If couples have the desire to reproduce their gynecologist will advise them to have sexual intercourse at least 2-3 times a week and not to overmedicalize the process, if possible, to maintain the fun and sensuality in it.
Couple’s satisfaction with relationship more important than the amount of sex
For couples more important than the number of times they have sex a week is the satisfaction within the relationship. This sense of satisfaction within a relationship is very personal and what works for one couple does not have to work for the other. Mostly couples with good communicative skills and a healthy way to deal with conflict experience most satisfaction. So, you can be having sex 15 times a week or not at all if each partner in the relationship is satisfied with the overall relationship and there is a balance in how their emotional and physical needs are met there is no problem.
Discrepancy in sexual desire between partners
Like everything in life, the amount of sexual intercourse a couple has fluctuates depending on many personal variables and an occasional discrepancy in the desire for sex is normal. When however, this becomes the norm some couples get stuck not knowing how to deal with the situation or change it. The partner that has a higher desire for sex feels rejected, not desirable and frustrated and the other might feel anxiety and feels like they are “not enough” for their partner or are letting them down. When struggling with this uneven sexual desire between partners a sexologist can help improve the situation and reduce friction with communicative tools and training on how to tip the scales to a more balanced situation.
